Five Years
by EmbarrassingPast
Summary: John and Dean leave a twelve year old Sam home alone while they go on a hunt for the weekend. When they come back, Sam is gone. Five years later, Dean thinks he has found him, but this Sam is very different from the talkative twelve year old he once knew. Rated for language, child abuse, rape and mentions of self harm. Grab onto your feels, this one's gonna be a wild ride.
1. Chapter 1

John hoisted his bag onto his shoulder and adjusted his coat. "You sure you'll be okay Sam?"

Sam also sighed in annoyance at this question being asked - again. "I'll be fine Dad, its only two days." He leaned back on the arm of the couch.

"Just remember call us if you need to," Dean said, shrugging his coat on.

"I know," Sam said, "and if you don't answer, call Bobby."

Dean gave Sam a half smile, and ruffled his brother's floppy hair. "Be good, okay kid?"  
John opened their apartment's door, saying, "Come straight home after school, don't open the door for anyone and keep the TV down."

"Dad, I got it. I'll be fine."

John observed his twelve year old fondly and nodded. He knew Sam could take care of himself, but he couldn't help but worry. "All right. Just making sure." He walked outside, and Dean followed after giving Sam a goofy smile and a fake two finger salute.

Sam got up off the couch and locked the door after Dean closed it, and then pulled back the curtain a bit to watch the Impala start up and drive off into the night.

Finally, he thought they'd never leave. Sam let out a breath tossed himself onto the couch again. He loved his dad and brother, but man did they get way too overprotective sometimes. It was nice to finally be able to breath.

They've been in this tiny apartment (two bedrooms, one bathroom - like always) for over a month, and Sam has had no freedom. Finally, his brother and dad would be gone until Saturday. He knew that his dad said to come straight home after school, but he would probably hang out with a few of his friends from school for an hour or so after school now that his dad wasn't here to say no.

He turned the TV on, making sure the volume wasn't too high for background noise and walked into the little kitchenette to heat up some leftover Chinese food for dinner.

The next morning Sam took his time in the shower, not having to rush for Dean, and he walked to school, something he hadn't done in a while since Dean or John always insisted on driving him.

He was a bit early and meet up with his friends outside. The school day went by very slow, something Sam was okay with, and he stopped at a smoothie place with his friend before going home. They walked around town for a little while as well, before Sam decided he should head home around 7:00pm.

Locking the door behind him after he got into the apartment,he tossed his bag onto the floor and kicked off his shoes, then took his homework out and put it on the kitchen table. He turned on the TV for background noise and got a drink from the kitchen before sitting down.

He had been sitting for over an hour when there was a knock on the door. Sam's head bolted up and he knocked his drink onto the floor, it spilt all over the carpet and he lurched to grab the TV remote and turn the volume all the way down. He fell off his chair in the process and it made a loud thump on the floor.

He lay on the floor, remote still in his hand as he listened for any sound. The door suddenly flung open to man (why hadn't he locked the door?!) standing there.

"Get the fuck out!" Sam yelled, jumping to his feet, glancing at the bag near the TV full of some of their weapons.

"You here alone?" The man asked, smirking. He looked strong, and Sam knew he wouldn't be able to fight him unarmed. Not to mention that the guy was probably a foot taller than him.

"Get out!" Sam shouted again as the man stepped into the room. "I'll call the cops!"

"I don't see a phone anywhere," The man observed. "Now if you just shut up, and come here. . ." The man reached for Sam, but the boy threw himself over the couch, trying to reach for the bag of weapons, but the man grabbed Sam's ankle and pulled him back, causing the couch to flip and Sam to painfully hit his jaw on the metal underside of the couch.

He was yanked backwards, and the man made an attempt to grab his arm but Sam bit him hard enough for him to let go. Sam scrambled over the couch and grabbed the first thing in the bag he could find, a hunting knife. Sam turned around on his knee just as the man grabbed a fist full of his hair, causing Sam to cry out in pain.

Sam blindly trashed out with the knife, catching the man on his side.

The man shouted, then twisted Sam's hair. "You fucking brat!"

"Let go!" Sam shouted, holding the man's wrist with his empty hand to try and lesson his hold. The man grabbed Sam's other wrist and twisted, making him drop the knife. He slammed Sam hand upon the floor, and black spots swam in Sam's vision and he let out a gasp.

"Little bitch," The man growled, slamming Sam's head onto the floor again.

Sam's vision seemed to unfocus and he moaned in pain, squeezing his eyes shut when he felt a headache building. He was pulled up by the hair again, and he felt the man's hot breath on his cheek from behind himself. "Now I'm going to stand up, and we are going to leave. If you made a single noise I'll smash your pretty little face in, understand?"

Sam groaned and nodded, his head pounding. He was yanked to his feet, the man holding his free hand against his back, while Sam's other hand still gripped the man's wrist. Sam was lead out the door, he heard the sound of the door closing behind him. He was lead to a car near the apartment and shoved into the back seat, where he again hit his head, on the window this time. The man got into to front seat and Sam had a moment of adrenaline where he tried to pulled the handle and push the door open. Fucking child safety locks?!

As the car pulled out the only thing on Sam's mind was how stupid he was and how pissed his dad and Dean were going to be.

* * *

Dean and John got home midday on Saturday, tired and hungry. Their hunt had gone well, they had investigated a possible vampire nest with some newbie hunter named Ford. The nest was almost deserted, and they took out the two vamps that had been there, then tipped off a couple of hunters who specialized in vampires.

They were glad to be back, neither of them liked leaving Sam alone for too long.

Dean was the first to the door, surprised that it was unlocked since Sam should be home and knew better than to leave it unlocked. He was too tired to be angry though, and just opened to door as John caught up with him.

Dean stepped through the door, looked around and dropped his bag, immediately going into 'hunting mode'. The couch was flipped, the TV on but the volume off, a bloody knife lay on the floor and the chair at the table was tipped along with a glass of something. John walked in behind Dean, and had the same reaction; dropping everything and scanning the room.

"Sam?" Dean called out, pulling out his .45 and stepping aside for John to enter the room. John went towards the bedrooms to check for Sam while Dean stayed in the joint living room and kitchen. "Sam!" Dean called, louder this time. He hoped to a God he didn't quite believe in that Sam was hiding somewhere.

He heard John opening and closing the bathroom and bedroom doors as panic set in his chest. "Dad, where the hell is he?" He asked, panic clear in his voice. He even opened the fridge, like Sam might be hiding in there, the kid was small enough.

"I don't know, I don't know," John repeated, walking back into the living room, clearly just as panicked as Dean. "He's gone."

* * *

 **Yikes this is shorter than I thought it would be...**

 **Anyways, do you guys like it? Should I continue it?**

 **I already have six chapters written, they just need to be edited... the first couple are about then same length as this one, but they'll be longer, I promise!**


	2. Chapter 2

Three months. Exactly. Sam knew it was that long because he kept track of the days on his left thigh. Every night he would use a knife to make a scar to count the days. He was pretty sure Father knew about the scars, but the man didn't get two shits.

Father. He hated calling the man that. Sam didn't know the kidnapper's name, but he knew better than to call him anything other than 'Father'.

...

" _Please!" Sam begged, trying pull his arm out of the man's grasp. It's been two days. "I just want to go home to my family."_

" _You are home," The man growled, yanking on Sam's bruised arm again, causing him to wince in pain. "I am your family."_

" _You're not my family!" Sam argued._

 _The man backhanded him across the face. "What do you call me?"_

 _Sam didn't respond, he just held his stinging cheek, his hair in his face. The man grabbed Sam's hair and yanked his head back. "I said, what do you call me?"_

" _F-father," Sam said quietly._

" _Good boy," The man said, stubbing his cigarette out on Sam's arm and letting go of his hair. He pushed Sam onto his side with his foot. "Who am I?"_

" _Father," Sam said quietly again. He hoped Dean and his_ real _dad would find him soon._

 _..._

Sam had all but given up hoping for Dean and John to find him. He barely even remembered that night when Father kidnapped him. He wouldn't be surprised if John and Dean gave up looking for him. Less of a burden for them.

"You up?"

Sam rolled over in the bed (which was really just a mattress with bedding on the floor) he shared with Jayden, the boy who was here before Sam got here. Jayden was kidnapped too, and was a 14, two years older than Sam. Without Jayden, Sam probably wouldn't have survived the past three months. "Yeah." He said, sitting up and cracking his back. The boys got up and dressed, then quietly made their way into the kitchen to make breakfast for Father.

They knew to not to be late when making it, especially since Father had to work today, meaning he would be in a worse mood than usual. They were done only moments before Father walked out of his room, and they scrambled away into the bedroom they shared. Sam went into the bathroom that connected to their room and washed his face to try and feel a little bit cleaner than he did at the moment.

He looked up at his face in the mirror, frowning. He was pale - paler than he should be - because of the little exposure he got to the sun, and lack of correct vitamins. Dark smudges were under his eyes. There was still that little bit of baby fat on his cheeks that refused to let go of his otherwise lean body. Then their was his hair. Or lack of.

Within the first week of being here, wherever 'here' was, Sam wasn't even sure what state they were in, Father had gotten drunk one night and shaved all of Sam's hair off, saying it was too recognizable. Sam felt naked with out his hair, like a different person altogether.

"You okay in there?" Jayden asked through the door.

Sam sighed and dried his face off from the water he had splashed on it. "Yeah, sorry," He opened the door. "Just lost in thought."

Jayden gave him a small smile and pulled the younger into a hug, resting his chin on Sam's head. Sam jolted when Father yelled out his name. Jayden let go of him so he could go out into the living room.

"Yes, sir?" Sam asked, entering the kitchen, where Father stood with a cigarette in his hand.

Father gestured to the countertop where the bag of bread was still open, and there were bread crumbs next to the toaster. "Is this your mess?"

Sam felt his heart drop, knowing it was Jayden who had made the toast, but not wanting to see his friend get hurt. "Yes sir. I'll clean it up." Sam made a move to pick up the bread bag but Father grabbed his arm and yanked him backwards so his hip slammed into the table.

"Ungrateful brat," Father said, picking his plate up off the table and tossing it into the sink. "I give you a home and you make a mess of it."

Sam didn't really understand why a few crumbs was such a bad thing, but he knew not to question Father when he was angry. He just stood there, looking at his feet, his hands on the table behind himself. Father grabbed the front of his shirt and shook him so he looked up at the man's face.

"You should be happy I save you from that prat," Father groweled. Father was under the impression that he had 'saved' both Sam and Jayden from their previous homes.

Sam glared at him and without meaning to, said, "I didn't need you to save me."

Father threw Sam to the ground and stomped on his stomach once. Sam coughed and rolled onto his side, curling up, "Don't. Talk. Back." As if to emphasize each word, he kicked Sam in the stomach each time. Sam groaned and coughed again, blood dripping out of the corner of his mouth. Father sneared at him, like he was looking at a a gross bug he had just stepped on, and stepped over Sam towards the door, muttering, "Disgusting."

He opened the door after pulling his jacket on, "Jayden get your ass in here and clean up this mess!" Father left the house and Jayden bolted into the kitchen, having heard what was going on but knew better than to get involved.

Jayden slid to his knees next to Sam and helped him into a sitting position. "Anything broken?" He asked.

Sam wiped the back of his hand across his mouth, catching the blood that was coming out and shook his head. "I don't think so. Just bruised. I'll be fine."

Jayden wrapped an arm around Sam's middle and lifted him then led him towards the couch. After Sam was leaning comfortably against the arm of the couch, Jayden got an ice pack from the freezer, wrapped a towel around it and knelt down at the side of the couch, gently putting the ice pack under Sam's shirt against his ribs to reduce the swelling. "Are you sure you're okay?"

Sam gave him a rueful smile. "Yes, Jay, I'll be fine. I've had worse."

Jayden frowned but didn't say anything. "I'll take care of the hard chores today, okay?"

"Okay," Sam agreed gratefully. He didn't want Jayden to do all of the chores, so he would try to help out later after he could breathe a bit easier. Jayden stood to go clean up the blood on the kitchen floor.

* * *

John and Dean hadn't hunted the supernatural in five months. For five straight months, they dedicated everything they had to try and find Sam. They searched high and low, called other hunters who helped them search for a while; they even went to the police who searched for a few days before telling the Winchesters they were going to start looking for a body. Dean and John stopped asking the police for help after that.

After about two months, most of the hunters they had contacted stopped looking, but still kept an eye out. After four months it seemed like John, Dean and Bobby were the only ones looking. Though Ellen Harvelle had a picture of Sam that she would flash at new customers sometimes and ask them if they had seen the boy, but nobody was finding anything.

At month six, John caught wind of a case where a different child was being murdered in a park every week, and convinced Dean to help if find the creature who was doing this. Dean didn't want to stop searching for Sam, and they never did, but they started hunting again. Most of their cases involved children, some of them not even supernatural.

They didn't want any family to feel what Dean and John felt at not knowing what happened to Sam. Not know what the worst part. Was it something supernatural that got Sam? Or even just a human?John brought up the possibility of Sam running off, and Dean and him got in a big fight about it. Dean refused to believe Sam would do that, and eventually John agreed, even if Sam had, they would have found him by now, they were sure.

Dean picked up the habit of looking in car windows when they drove down a road and he wasn't driving. Every car they passed he would look in the front and back windows, hoping one day to see Sam sitting in one of the cars.

He wondered if Sam was okay. He wondered if Sam . . . was even alive. Dean tried not to think like that. He like to think Sam was out there somewhere, okay, and looking for his older brother. Dean could image Sam walking down some long road surrounded by open fields, asking passing cars if they had seen a 1967 Chevy Impala recently.

Dean knew Sam was out there, and he hoped one day he would find him.

* * *

 ***Sigh* another short chapter... Sorry :(**

 **So I didn't update last week because my aunt passed away due to cancer and Most of my family has been really upset, and I've been out of my state to visit family and attend her funeral.**

 **I'll try to update once or twice a week now, though.**


	3. Chapter 3

_**!WARNING!**_ **There is a n** **on-graphic rape scene in this chapter, I'll put this these stars *** before it happens so you know.**

* * *

"Happy Birthday Jayden," Sam grinned at his now fifteen year old friend, who was still waking up.

"You look like shit."

Sam gave him an annoyed look, then said sarcastically, "Thanks Jayden." He pushed back the covers of the bed and stretched his arms. Even though he was only thirteen years old, he was only an inch or so shorter than Jayden; something he teased Jayden about constantly. Jayden rolled off the mattress they shared as a bed onto the floor.

Sam picked up one of the pillows and dropped it on Jayden's head, then looked around for a pair of pants to wear, only to feel the pillow hit the back of his own head. "Shh!" Sam put a finger in front of his lips.

Jayden stuck his tongue out at Sam, then got up. The two got dressed and went walked through the living room towards the kitchen to make Father breakfast. Sam stopped when Jayden suddenly grabbed Sam's arm. "Who is that?"

Sam looked to where Jayden was pointing, the couch. A boy was asleep there, a few years younger than Sam. He was laying on his stomach, his face turned away and was only wearing boxers. There were hand-shaped bruises on his upper arms and hips, similar to ones Sam and Jayden often got when Father grabbed them.

Jayden and Sam looked at each other, and then Sam walked towards the boy, biting his lip. He put his hand on the boy's shoulder and shook him gently. The boy jumped awake, and Sam quickly put a hand over his mouth to stop him from screaming. "Shh. . . We won't hurt you, I promise." Sam said quietly, looking into the boy's wide blue eyes. "If I let go will you stay quiet?"

The boy nodded and Sam slowly took his hand off of the child's mouth. "What's your name?"

"K-Kobe," The boy said in a small voice, curling his knees up towards his chest.

"I'm Sam, and this is Jayden," Sam introduced. "Why are you here? What did he do to you?"

Kobe buried his face in his arms and shook his head. "Its okay, you don't have to tell me." Sam said, then looked up at Jayden, then back to Kobe. "We're going to get you out of here."

Blue eyes peeked up at him hopefully. "Why are you here?" Kobe asked.

"We live here."

Kobe's eyes widened. "With - With _him_?"

Sam nodded, the took Kobe's hand and helped him to his feet. "Jayden go find some clothes for him, hurry."

Jayden disappeared into their room to find something the boy could wear.

"Do you live around here?" Sam asked.

Kobe nodded.

"So you know where the police station is?"

Another nod.

"Good."

Jayden came out of their room with a pair of shorts, the only thing that would likely fit Kobe that he wouldn't trip on and a shirt. Kobe quickly got dressed and walked to the front door with Sam and Jayden.

"Sam," Jayden said quietly, worry thick in his voice. "He's going to hear the door open."

It was true, the front door was very loud to open and made a horrible creaking noise. Sam didn't care though. "Go back to the room, Jayden, and pretend to sleep."

"No, Sam!" Jayden argued. "I'm not going to let him beat the shit out of you!"

"Jayden, please," Sam pleaded. "I don't want you to get hurt."

"And I don't want you hurt!"

Sam glared at Jayden for a moment before crouching a bit to look Kobe in the eyes, "I'm going to open the door, and I want you to run as fast as you can to the police station. Don't stop to talk to anyone, don't run home or somewhere else. Go straight to the police station. Tell them what happened and tell them we're here."

Kobe nodded, understanding the importance of this. Jayden suddenly realized Sam's plan. They had never been able to get the police's help before, because they moved around often and never knew where anything was. Very early on, when Sam was first brought here, they both tried to run for it, but they didn't know where they were going and Father had found them very quickly.

If one of them was to run to the police, it was likely Father would kill the other and take off, and Sam and Jayden didn't want to risk that.

"Are you ready?" Sam asked. "Try to go as a fast a you can. We'll stop Father from following you. Make sure to tell the police we're here."

Kobe nodded. "Thank you."

"Just be fast, okay?" Sam said, yanking the door open. They both watched as Kobe ran, down the road and turn down a side street. Sam shut the door and heard the sound of Father storming out of the bedroom. He looked at Jayden with wide eyes.

"Where the fuck is he?!" Father shouted, appearing in the doorway.

"Gone," Sam glared at him.

"On his way to the police station," Jayden said.

Father was furious, they could see it in his eyes. It was terrifying, seeing a man like Father looking angry. The man was probably six feet tall, all muscle, strong jaw, dark hair. . . it was scary. "You fucking brats!" He grabbed for Jayden, who was closest to him, but Sam kicked him in the stomach and Jayden pulled Sam out of Father's reach. "You'll pay for that."

Father grabbed a knife off of the counter and Jayden and Sam scrambled backwards, but Jayden tripped on the edge of the coffee table and fell backwards. Father grabbed the boy's foot and pulled him closer. Jayden threw up his arms to shield his face, and Father slashed one of his arms open to blood gushed from it. Jayden cried out in pain and tried to roll away from Father. Sam shoved Father from the side, causing the man to fall over.

Jayden held his arm, a dry sob escaping himself, his chest heaving. "Sam, oh god, this is bad."

"Go wrap it with something!" Sam shouted, stopping Father from getting up. Jayden rushed towards the bathroom. Sam looked down and Father pulled his foot out from under him and Sam fell back, his head hitting the coffee table on the way down. His vision swam and he felt Father straddling him. He was flipped over and his face was slammed into the carpet and he lost consciousness.

It was a while before he woke again, and when he did everything was dark. He was cramped, and it felt like he was in a car. "Jayden?" Sam whispered into the darkness.

"Oh thank god, I thought you were dead," Jayden voice said behind him. Sam shifted a bit and realized his was in a fetal position and his back was pressed against Jayden's.

"Where are we?"

"In the trunk of Father's car," Jayden said sadly. "Kobe did get the police fast enough. As soon as you were out, Father dragged me from the bathroom - I was too dizzy to fight back - and he tossed us in the trunk. We've probably been here for a couple of hours."

"Oh," Sam said. They had been so damn close. He hoped Kobe was back with his family now though. "How's your arm?"

Jayden shifted. "It stopped bleeding, so I don't think it's too deep. I passed out at one point, but I haven't felt dizzy or lightheaded since so I think I'll be fine."

"All right, good," Sam said.

* * *

The car stopped and Sam heard Father get out. A few minutes later, Father got back in the car and drove a few yards away. Sam felt the car turn around, the shut off. Father got out again and Sam heard him walk towards the trunk. The lid was lifted and Sam first saw it was night, then saw that they were at a motel. Sam concluded the first time they stopped Father was checking in.

Sam felt a twinge in his chest but mentally shoved it away before a memory surfaced. It was easier to not remember. Father was scowling down at Sam and Jayden. "You two better shut the fuck up, all right. We're staying here tonight, then leaving in the morning."

He hoisted both boys out of the car, and Sam noted they were at the end room, farthest away from the road and check in. Father unlocked the door and pushed them inside, then locked the door behind them. "You," Father said, grabbing Jayden's shoulder. He shoved Jayden towards the bathroom. "Get in there."

"Wha-"

Father backhanded Jayden across the face. "Shut up, and get in the bathroom."

Jayden retreated into the bathroom, holding his cheek and looking down at the floor. Father shut the door and locked it from the outside. "Hey!" Jayden shouted, "What are you doing?"

"Quiet!"

Jayden quieted.

Father turned to Sam and quickly advanced on him. Sam walked backwards, the back of his legs hit the edge of the bed and he fell back onto it, holding himself up on his elbows as Father leaned over him. "I know it was your smart-ass idea to let the little boy go, wasn't it?"

Sam swallowed and didn't answer, looking fearfully up at Father.

"Hm, well, since I lost him, I guess you'll make do instead."

"What?" Sam dared to ask.

 ******** Father didn't answer, but instead thread his fingers through the short hair that had grown on Sam's head, it probably wasn't longer than an inch, but Father suddenly grabbed it and yanked Sam's head back, exposing his neck. He gasped as Father's lips traced up his neck to his jaw.

"N- wait -"

"Shut up," Father growled, leaning over the boy. Sam felt the top of his chest pressed against Father, and felt Father's knee on the bed between Sam's thighs. Father grabbed Sam's arms and threw him father up on the bed, quickly pinning Sam down. He held Sam's arms above the boy's head and slid up Sam's shirt, then licked his chest.

Sam gasped, his eyes wide. Was this actually happening? Is this what Father had done to that poor kid? Father unbuttoned Sam's jeans and reached his hand down his pants, grabbing Sam roughly in his hand. Sam let out a yelp of surprise.

"Sam?" Jayden called from the bathroom. "Are you okay? What's happening?"

Sam couldn't respond, he was panting as Father started to jerk him off before removing the rest of Sam's clothing. "Please don't. . ." Sam begged.

"Aw, its so cute when you beg," Father roughly grabbed Sam by the jaw and bit Sam's bottom lip, hard. He dropped Sam's head back onto the bed and proceeded to make Sam regret ever defying Father in the first place. *****End Scen**

Sam had fallen asleep in the bed, face stained with tears when Father let Jayden out of the bathroom. Jayden had heard most of what happened, but didn't want to believe it. When he eyes landed on Sam, he whirled on Father. "What did you do!"

"What I wanted," He answered, shoving Jayden towards the the bed. "Now go to sleep."

Father got into the clean bed, and Jayden stared at the bed where Sam had been . . . raped. He didn't want to sleep there, but stripped out of his shirt and jeans regardless and curled up next to Sam, draping an arm across the younger boy and burying his face in the back of Sam's neck. "I'm so sorry, Sam," he whispered.

When Sam woke up, Father was in the shower and the first thing he was aware of was Jayden's arm across his middle. He jerked out of the bed, waking Jayden. "What's wrong?" Jayden asked hurriedly.

"I- I just don't want to be touched right now," Sam turned away quickly as his eyes filled with tears so he wouldn't see the look of pity on Jayden's face.

* * *

John had been trying to start a conversation with his son for ten minutes now, but Dean was only giving him one word answers. It's been like this for a while, ever since . . . Sam. Dean will have good days, where he is determined to save people, maybe crack a joke here and there, but sometimes he'll have bad days where it's a struggle to get out of bed, he doesn't want to talk. All he wants to do on his bad days is drive around and stare out the window.

John tried to be there for his son, and would do what he could to try and lift Dean's mood. That morning when Dean took longer to wake up then usual and quietly asked his dad if they could go for a ride, John knew it was a bad day and gave his son a sad smile and grabbed the car keys.

Now, Dean had his head against the window and was staring out at the road, trying to block everything out but the music and sound of passing cars (he still checked the windows). A red car passed, and he looked to see it was only a dark haired, buff looking male with a square jaw driving. Dean continued to stare out the window, consumed in his thoughts.

* * *

 **I was a day late, but I ended up stay with a few friends for a while and wasn't able to upload this on time.**

 **What do you think? Do you guys like the story so far? Its there something you are looking forwards to or that you want to happen? Just tell me in the reviews! I enjoy pleasing my readers :)**


	4. Chapter 4

_**!Another non-graphic rape scene!**_ **I'll mark it again with these *****

* * *

Two years now, Sam thought as he dug a knife into his leg of the seven hundred and thirtieth time. He'd have to move onto his other leg now. He would be fourteen in a couple of days, and in about a month Jayden would be sixteen.

Almost a year ago, the morning of Jayden's fifteenth birthday was the last time Sam had smiled. When Father did to Sam that night didn't stopped. It happened at least twice a week, and as much as Jayden tried to stop it, it would happen one way or another. Jayden tried to make Sam happy, and even when Sam was content, he wouldn't smile. He couldn't. He never understood how Jayden managed to stay positive this long. Sam saw him flinch was a hand was raised to quickly near him, and he saw him hesitate whenever voices got too loud. Though Sam supposed he did that too.

If Jayden wasn't here, Sam probably would have killed himself by now. Sam shuddered a bit at the morbid thought. Now, Jayden sat folding Father's laundry while Sam washed the windows. They were almost done their long list of chores for the day day, and would be allowed to go to bed as soon as they finished.

Sam put the window cleaner under the kitchen sink when he was done, and helped Jayden finish the laundry. They finally headed to bed, and curled up on the bed they shared. This house it wasn't just a mattress on the floor at least. Sam curled up facing away from Jayden, wanting to minimize touching as much as possible.

"Hey Sam?" Jayden said quietly.

Sam turned over to face Jayden.

"Are you okay?" Jayden asked.

"No."

Jayden frowned, looked down for a moment then back up at Sam's eyes. "I don't know what I would do if you weren't here. You've saved me a lot."

"Jayden please don't-" Sam protested.

"You need to hear this, Sam, you need to know you still matter, because I know you think you don't," Jayden told him. "You're very important to me Sam, and I don't like seeing you upset."

"You're important to me to, Jayden," Sam responded sadly, his eyes downcast as he traced patterns on the sheet they lay on.

"What if. . ." Jayden started. "What if we get out of here? Would we stay with each other? I don't have much of a family to go back to, I've been here for so long."

"Yes, we'd stay together," Sam said immediately. He couldn't imagine not seeing Jayden again. He had no idea where his family was either, and the likelihood of finding them was very slim. He barely even thought about them nowadays.

Jayden's face seemed to brighten at that answer. "Good," he said with a smile. He then moved his arm under the blanket and slowly wrapped his arm around Sam's shoulders (which immediately tensed), ignoring the small flinch Sam gave. "I'm glad we met."

"Me too," Sam said, his voice a little tight.

Jayden seemed to think something over before he said, "Close your eyes."

"Why?" Sam asked.

Jayden smiled, "Just close them."

Sam closed his eyes and after a few seconds he felt Jayden's lips pressed against his own. He opened his eyes in shock, ready to pull away but Jayden kept him in place with a hand on Sam's back for a few more seconds before letting go. Sam's wide eyes stared into Jayden's, then Sam leaned forward and kissed Jayden again. It was quick, barely a brush of their lips, and then Sam turned over to face away.

Sam brushed his fingers across his lips. He had never kissed anyone before. He hadn't been in school since he was twelve, and kissing had never been on his mind. Sam was grateful that Father had never kissed him. It was something much different than what Father usually did with Sam, it seemed more intimate, more special.

He didn't smile, but he fell asleep with a bit of happiness in his chest.

* * *

"Let me go!" Sam begged, trying to get Father to release the grip on the back of his shirt. The collar of his shirt dug painfully into Sam's neck and he was struggling to breathe.

"Shut up!" Father said, yanking on the shirt again. Sam choked and decided it better to stop struggling. He let himself be dragged down into the dark basement, his legs and rear becoming bruised as they banged on the stairs.

Father tossed him against a wall, which his shoulder slammed against. Sam started to stand, but Father slapped him and he fell back to his knees, clutching his cheek. "This is what you get for disobeying my direct orders," Father said menacingly, picking a coil of rope up off the floor.

He roughly pulled Sam's hands behind his back and tied them together, then tied them to the floor to ceiling support in the center of the damp room. He shoved Sam down by the shoulders so Sam was sitting then left the basement, slamming the door shut and leaving Sam in complete darkness.

Sam pulled his knees up to his chest, immediately terrified. He was almost ashamed of how scared he was. He was fourteen for god's sake! Straining his ears, he listened for any sound. Water dripping. Creaking. Scratching noises. He couldn't tell where any of it was coming from and he found himself shaking in fear.

He lasted about ten more minutes before he started screaming for Father to let him out. Sam screamed until his throat burned and then he dropped his head onto his knees and started to cry until he passed out.

Father left him there for four days. They only way Sam knew what because he could hear Father's car leave for work in the mornings. It wasn't until after Father got home from work on the fourth day that he came downstairs to get Sam.

The man walked towards Sam, his nose crinkled in disgust. Sam's face reddened in shame. He had pissed himself multiple times while locked down here. Father untied the ropes that had cut into Sam's wrists. Sam stood on shaky legs and Father shoved him towards the stairs. "Go take a fucking shower."

Sam, regardless of his legs feeling like jelly, ran up the stairs and directly into the bathroom. He showered as fast as he could, using as little soap as he could (Father got mad if they ran out too fast) and then went into his room and changed into clean clothes. He took his soiled clothes and put them in the washing machine in the next room.

When he got back to his bedroom Jayden was in there, looking panicked. "Sam!" He exclaimed in relief. "Thank god!" He wrapped his arms tightly around Sam, who stiffened and didn't hug back.

Jayden ignored it, sighed, and pulled away. He looked down at Sam's hands, and took them gently up to look at the angry red marks circling his wrists, "Are you okay?" He asked quietly, putting both of his hands on Sam's shoulders, trying to get Sam to look up at him.

Sam didn't respond, but looked at the yellowing bruise that covered the right half of Jayden's face, stretching from his temple, narrowly missing his eye, and covering his cheek. Sam lifted his hand and gently trailed his fingers across the bruise. "How did this happen?"

Jayden attempted to give a laugh but it just sounded pathetic. He then responded quietly, "The usual. It doesn't matter."

Sam frowned, his lower lip sticking out a bit. "It matters to me."

Jayden's eyes seemed to light up and he tugged Sam forward a bit and kissed him. This was the first time they'd kissed since that time laying in bed together. Somehow, this seemed to calm both of them. Sam relaxed his shoulders and Jayden smiled into the innocent kiss. That's all it was, just their lips locked together, Jayden's hands on Sam's shoulders and Sam's hands resting on Jayden's hips.

Sam was still a bit shorter than Jayden, who had grown a few inches in the past months, so Sam had to tilt his head up a bit. They both pulled away and Sam put his forehead on Jayden's shoulder, his eyes closed. Jayden felt Sam shudder with silent crying and he put a hand on the back of Sam's head and held him.

* * *

Jayden was sick. Very sick. It's been about a month since the basement incident, and nothing _that_ bad has happened since, other than the usual shove or slap.

Sam didn't know what to do to help Jayden. The worst either of them had ever had was a head cold, or stomach ache. But Jayden's skin was hot to the touch, his face flushed, sweat collecting on his forehead. Earlier he had thrown up the little bit of food he had eaten and anytime Sam tried to give him water his stomach rejected it.

Right now Jayden was in a fitful sleep and Sam was pacing the room. He stopped at the bed and pushed Jayden's dark hair out of his face. Father required Sam to keep his hair buzz-cut, but Jayden's hair was so outgrown it almost reached his shoulders. Sam bit his lip. He needed to get medication for Jayden, and they didn't have any in the house that he knew of.

Maybe in the cabinet in Father's bathroom . . . Sam knew how much trouble he could get in if Father caught him in there, but the man was asleep right now, and this would be for Jayden.

He took a deep breath and slowly opened their bedroom door and crept into the hallway. The only way to Father's bathroom was through his room. The door was open, so Sam slipped inside easily. Father was asleep under the covers of his bed, snoring loudly. Sam stepped as softly as he could across the carpet and into the bathroom. He wouldn't risk turning the light on so he felt around in the dark and opened up the mirror cabinet above the sink.

Sam could just barely see a row of medication bottles sitting inside the cabinet. He squinted and saw one that said 'pain reliever/fever reducer'. He carefully took it from the shelf and struggled with the cap before popping it open and shaking a handful of pills out. He put them in his pocket and closed the white bottle and put it back. He reached to close the cabinet door but his hand smacked against it and it slammed shut.

Sam froze as the snoring stopped.

 _Oh shit,_ was all he could think. He was aware of someone standing behind him and he stiffened, closing his eyes and preparing for the inevitable blow. A fist came at the side of his head and his face smacked off the side of the sink. He groaned as he was lifted by the arm, Father yelling things he couldn't make out at his face.

 ******* Black spots danced in his vision as he was dragged into Father's room and thrown onto the bed. His head cleared as he realized was was about to happen, and he quickly struggled to back away from the man that was quickly advancing on him. Father grabbed Sam's leg and yanked him across the bed until he was laying underneath the bigger man.

Father roughly yanked Sam's head back and attacked his neck with bites, leaving small bruises. Before he knew what was happening, his shirt was ripped off and Father was trailing his tongue down to the the top of Sam's pants. Sam shuddered and put his hands on Father's shoulders, trying meekly to push him away, but the man was stronger. *******

Half an hour later, Father was asleep and Sam was shakily putting his boxers, pants and shirt back on. He rushed from the room and checked his pocket to make sure the pills were still there. He sighed thankfully as he returned to their room and pulled the pills from his pocket.

* * *

 **So... Do you guys like where Sam and Jayden's relationship is going? Would you rather them go back to being only brotherly?**

 **If they keep this relationship there probably won't be any slash between them, (unless its requested a lot farther down the road) and its going to stay pretty innocent.**

 **My reasoning for this development between them: They both need emotional and physical stability, and the only way to get that is through each other.**


	5. Chapter 5

"Boy! Get me a beer!" Father shouted from the couch in the living room.

"Yes, sir," Sam opened the fridge and pulled a beer out then popped the top off. He brought it to Father who took it and waved Sam away. As Sam walked back to the kitchen his eye caught Jayden in the hallway, waving for Sam to join him frantically.

Sam glanced at Father and casually walked over to Jayden, who pulled him into the laundry room. "What's wrong?" Sam asked.

Jayden grinned and held up a piece of paper. "I found it in Father's work pants."

"What is it?"

Jayden unfolded it. "A map. Of the town."

Sam stared at Jayden with wide eyes and then looked at the map. "That's where we are." Sam pointed to a small neighborhood. He recognized the street name because he could see the sign from the front room window.

"Here's the police station," Jayden pointed to the market part of the map.

"What are you thinking?" Sam asked, staring down at the map.

Jayden smirked, "I'm thinking if we memorize this map, we can sneak out at night and know exactly where to go."

Sam look up at Jayden. "Let's do it."

* * *

"We can do this, right? We have to." Sam said quietly. They were crouched down in the hallway outside their room.

Jayden swallowed thickly and nodded. "It has to work this time, we saw the map. We just have to make a run for it."

"Come on," Jayden said, tugging on Sam's arm. They crawled through the hallway and quietly crept down the stairs. They had one chance to do this. Both of them had spent a considerable amount of time studying the route to the police station, and if they got separated they just had to keep going to get to the cops.

Jayden stood with his hand on the door handle, staring at Sam with a leveled look. Sam stared back. "If he catches one of us, the other has to keep going, okay?"

Sam swallowed thickly and nodded. They knew moment they opened the door, the alarm would go off - one Father installed himself to make sure Sam and Jayden didn't run off at night - and Father would wake up.

Sam braced himself to start running and said, "Do it,"

Jayden yanked the door open and they both bolted out of the house, the sound of the alarm ringing doing nothing to slow their pace. They were almost halfway down the neighborhood's road when they heard Father screaming at them. Sam looked back in panic and Jayden put a hand on Sam's shoulder and pushed him forward. "Don't look back, just keep going.

Though Jayden was a year older and was still an inch or two taller, they ran at the same speed, panting and gasping for breath. The boys had memorized each turn and knew the quickest route by heart now. Sam didn't care about the ache forming in his side or that his bruised leg was ready to give out at any moment. All he could think was, _This is it, we're finally going to be free._

He felt like grinning, but he still couldn't. A soft smile settled in place instead. When Jayden saw Sam finally smiling, after all this time, he grinned and both of them picked up their speed. They were almost there! Jayden pointed ahead to where a police car was pulling out of the station. Sam waved frantically at the cop car; maybe it would be easier than going into the station.

The car pulled over and Jayden and Sam leaned over to look in the passenger side window, breathing hard.

"Can I help you boys?"

Sam took a breath and said, "My name is Sam, this is Jayden, we need help."

The officer looked from Sam's face to Jayden's and said, "Get in the back."

They both climbed into the back of the car and the cop started driving. They drove for a minute when Jayden seemed to realize something and said, "Hey, wait, where are you taking us?"

"Right before I saw you two I have just gotten a call from some worried dad, saying his two sons, Sam and Jayden, ran away," The man said, then chuckled. "We get at least two runaway calls a night. I'm taking you two back home."

"What!" Jayden exclaimed. "No! You can't, you don't understand, he'll kill us!"

The cop laughed again. "Well, maybe he can teach you two some discipline. Running out in the middle of the night is dangerous."

"I'd rather take my chances on the street that back with that bastard!" Sam shouted at him, yanking on the door handle only to realize it was locked from the outside.

"Watch your tongue, boy," The cop warned. They turned onto the street they lived on and Jayden started to frantically pull at the handle and bang on the window. "Knock it off, kid!" The cop said just as they pulled into the driveway.

Sam could see Father standing in the doorway with a dangerous look on his face. He felt his heart sink and his body go numb.

The officer came around the car and pulled them both out then led them to the door. Father took each of the boys by the shoulder and pulled them inside next to him. Sam flinched at Father' fingers digging into his shoulder. He wasn't listening while Father and the cop talked about 'reckless teens' and how they don't respect adults or something. All Sam could think about was what was going to happen when the door closed.

The cop finally left, and as soon as Father let go of their shoulders, Jayden ran for the stairs with Sam right behind him. Father grabbed Sam by the few inches of hair he had on his head and yanked him backwards, causing him to land hard on his rear.

Father held Sam tightly by the hair and lurched to grab Jayden by the shirt. He had Jayden for a second but the youth's shirt ripped and he kept running. Father turned back to Sam lifted him so his toes just barely brush the floor.

Sam groaned in pain, his eyes squinted shut as he tried to loosen the hold the man had on his hair. "You ungrateful brat!" The man spat in his face. "After everything I've done for you two, everything I give you, you try to run off?" He shouted. The man threw Sam against the wall and his head cracked painfully against it. Sam slumped to the floor, head spinning. He watched through clouded eyes as Jayden ran into the room, wielding the broken leg of a chair. He charged at Father and hit him hard on the side with it. Though it was a good shot, Father was a lot stronger.

"You little shit!" Father grabbed the splintered wood from Jayden and threw it across the room. He grabbed Jayden by the front of his shirt and dragged him towards the door that lead to the basement. Sam heard the door open and the sound of Jayden being thrown down the stairs before the door slammed shut again the sound of the lock being set in place.

The man walked back over to Sam and kicked him in the stomach. "Get the fuck up."  
Sam groaned and started to curl in on himself, which angered Father even more. "I - said - get - up!" He emphasized each word with kick to the ribs or stomach, before giving up and just lifting Sam by the front of his shirt so he stood on his feet, his arms wrapped around his stomach. "Who's idea was it to sneak out?"

Sam didn't say anything, he just stared at the floor trying to ignore the pain in his ribs and stomach.

Father pulled back his hand and slapped Sam across the face. "Answer me! Was it Jayden?"

"No," Sam mumbled. Sam wouldn't blame Jayden for this, Jayden would probably get a worse beating. Father favored Sam, they both knew that. THough Sam would still get beat, it wouldn't be as bad as what Jayden would have gotten.

"Then it was your idea?"

Sam hesitated before nodding slightly.

"I guess I can't trust you two fucks to be alone anymore," He said, grabbing Sam's arm and hauling him towards the hallway. "From now on, both of you will sleep locked in the basement. Unless I want you in here with me." Father said, shoving Sam into his room. Sam stumbled and fell against the bed.

Father walked over and shoved Sam down on his knees, then swatted the side of his head. "You know what to do, so get to it. And if you bite me, I'll rip your teeth out."

* * *

Hours later, Sam woke up naked and under dirty sheets. He slipped out from under Father's arm and quickly made his way to the bathroom room next to his room. He got in the shower with the water as cold as it gets and scrubbed his skin until it was bright red and raw. He tried not to notice the bruises decorating his torso.

He got out and dressed quickly, then walked towards the basement door.

He was going to try and open in, but it was locked with a padlock. He kneeled down and tapped on the door with his knuckles. "Jayden?" He whispered, pressing his ear to the door. He rapped his knuckles against the wood again.

"Sam?" A quiet voice came from the other side.

"Yeah," Sam whispered back. "Are you okay?"

It was quiet for a moment before, "I think a few of my ribs are broken…"

Sam shut his eyes and fought off rage. That bastard. "Don't worry, I'll try to get you out." Sam stood quickly and moved into the living room when he heard movement in Father's room. Jayden would be let out in a day or two, Sam knew that, but until then he would do what he could to try and get food to Jayden

Sam hated this man with every fiber of his being. Someday Jayden and him would get out of this place, and Sam would kill the man. He'd rip him to shreds.

* * *

 **Jeez guys, I am so sorry this fic is taking forever for me to update DX**


	6. Chapter 6

"What did I say would happen next time you stole food from me?" Father growled, towering over Sam.

"Y-you'd whip me." He answered quietly.

Father nodded and shoved Sam's shoulder so he spun around to face the wall. "Shirt off, hands on the wall." Sam did as he was told, bracing himself as he heard Father take off his belt.

There were a few seconds of silence when a sudden sharp _ziiip_ whizzed through the air and Sam felt a searing hot pain strike across his back. He screamed as it came down again and again until he eventually fell to his knees, sobbing and begging Father to stop.

"Have you learned your lesson?" Father asked.

Sam nodded, wrapping his arms around himself. Another hard strike hit him across his shoulders. "I can't hear you."

"Yes sir," Sam said.

"Good." Father said, grabbing Sam's arm and lifting him to his feet. "Now get out of my sight."

Sam ran into the bathroom and turned on the cold water. He stood with his head hanging, watching the clear water mix with his blood. It hurt to move. His back felt like it was made of plastic and unable to stretch. He hated this.

Jayden was crying. Jayden didn't cry often, it was usually Sam who was the emotional wreck. This time though, Sam held Jayden tightly as the older boy cried. He was positive Jayden had a few broken ribs, and maybe a broken hand. Father came home angry again, something had happened at work and he blamed Sam and Jayden for it. Jayden got the worst of it.

Jayden gave a harsh laugh through his tears. "I'm sorry," He sniffed, "I'm supposed to be the strong one."

"No," Sam said, wrapping his arms tighter around Jayden. "No your not."

"But I'm older," Jayden said, tears still streaming down his face. "I'm seventeen, you've just turned fifteen."

"That doesn't mean anything," Sam said quietly. "We've both been through the same shit together. You don't have to be strong for me, we have to be strong for each other."

Jayden pulled back from Sam and wiped his eyes on the sleeve of his dark grey hoodie, one he seemed to favor. He looked so sad and pathetic, years younger than he actually was. Sam pulled Jayden into a hug again, Sam's arms wrapped around the other's thin frame. Jayden rested his forehead on Sam's shoulder.

Never did Sam expect it to end so abruptly, with Father grabbing Jayden by the back of his grey hoodie and yanking him over the back of the couch where they had been sitting. Sam whipped around, staring Father fearfully in his eyes. He quickly looked away, towards Jayden who was sitting on the floor, clutching his ribs in pain.

Father turned and looked down at Jayden, dropping the cigarette he had been holding onto the floor. "How dare you!" He shouted, stomping on Jayden's stomach. Jayden let out a rush of air, falling backwards and moaning in pain. "He is mine, not yours! How dare you touch him!"

Sam looked up at Father in disbelief. He was made because they had hugged? Did Father even realize what he did to Sam was so much worse? Sam glared at the possessive bastard and jumped over the couch, standing between Jayden and Father. "Its not his fault." Sam growled.

Father backhanded him across the face with so much force Sam was pushed away from Jayden and landed on the floor. Father sneered down at him, "Ungrateful brat," he muttered before grabbing Jayden by the front of his hoodie and lifting him up off the ground so his feet were dangling beneath him.

"Let him go!" Sam shouted, grabbing Father's muscular arm and pulling on him. It did nothing as Sam had lost any and all muscle he used to have due to undernourishment. He feared Jayden being hurt more than he already was.

Father swatted Sam away. "Get out of here, you brat!" He shouted, turning his glare back to Jayden. "I need to teach him a lesson about touching my stuff."

"Sam's not an object!" Jayden yelled in Father's face.

Everyone went dead silent. The tension in the room seemed to be screaming.

"Jayen you dumbass, he's going to kill you!" Sam finally shouted. Jayden used the moment of shock to get out of Father grip and run into the hall. Father snapped out of his stupor and chased after Jayden, screaming profanities. "No!" Sam shouted, following them into the hall. Father was going to kill Jayden. He was truly going to kill him. "No, no, no," Sam mumbled to himself running up the stairs after them.

Father had grabbed Jayden and slammed him into the wall, holding him up by the neck, glaring into his eyes while Jayden choked for breath.

"Stop, please!" Sam begged, tugging on Father's arm. Father dropped Jayden to the floor and he coughed, clutching his ribs in pain. Sam fell to his knees next to Jayden, putting a hand on his shoulder, only to be pulled back by Father.

"Don't fucking touch him," He ordered.

Father walked into his own bedroom and Sam hoped he would stay there as he turned back to Jayden. He cupped Jayden's face in his hands and looked into his light blue eyes. "You'll be okay, all right?"

Jayden nodded stiffly. "All right," his voice was tight. He suddenly glanced behind Sam, and his eyes widened and pupils dilated.

Sam quickly turned around and the hair on the back of his neck stood up when he came face to face with a handgun that could blow his head off in seconds. He put his arm behind himself and pushed Jayden back.

"Move," Father growled.

"No," Sam said defiantly. "You can't kill him. You'll have to kill me too."

He cocked the gun and aimed it right between Sam's eyes. "Fucking move."

"No."

Father pulled his arm back and hit Sam across the face with the gun, sending him onto his side. Sam screamed and clutched his cheek. He was pretty sure the bone below his eye was broken.

He swung around just in time to see Father pointing the gun at Jayden's chest. Sam launched forward to try and push the gun away, but a bang rang through the air, freezing Sam in place on his knees, arm outstretched.

Jayden's mouth dropped open and he looked down at his chest, where a hole in his hoodie was blossoming with blood. He looked up at Sam in shock, putting a hand to his chest.

"No, no, no!" Sam grabbed Jayden and tugged the grey hoodie off him and pressed it onto the wound to try and stop the blood flow. He tugged Jayden into his arms and held him in a hug, burying his face in Jayden's shoulder, vaguely aware of Father saying that they had to leave and running down the stairs.

"Sam?" Jayden said quietly. He didn't sound like he was in pain, he just sounded calm, tired.

Sam pulled back, keeping an arm around at Jayden's back to hold him up, and taking Jayden's hand in his other. "Jayden?" Sam asked, looking the older boy in the eyes. Jayden was no longer crying, but Sam felt tears running down his own cheeks.

Jayden gave sam a small, sad smile and lifted his hand to put it against Sam's cheek, the one that wasn't broken, running his thumb across the tears there. "I love you."

Sam let out a sob. "I- Jayden, I love you too."

Jayden's face seemed to glow, and he moved his hand around Sam, and hugged him. Sam held him tight, crying into his shoulder. He couldn't lose Jayden. He wouldn't be able to survive without him, Jayden has always been here with Sam.

He didn't know how long he held Jayden but it felt like eternity. All that mattered was Jayden. Sam only startled when Father yelled something up the stairs, that he ignored.

"Jayden?" Sam said softly.

There was no response.

Sam's hand tightened on the back of Jayden's shirt, and he realized that the Jayden's hand had gone limp in his. He pulled away and Jayden's head limply hung against his chest.

"No… No!" Sam shook Jayden. "No, wake up!"

He lay Jayden on the floor and put his ear on Jayden's blood-soaked chest. Sam heard nothing. Sam's world came to a halting stop as he realized the realness of the situation. A haze seemed to settle over everything.

Jayden was gone.

Sam was vaguely aware of being pulled away from Jayden by the back of his shirt, and down the stairs. Jayden disappeared from sight, but Sam could still see the pale, blood soaked Jayden in his mind. Sam still clutched Jayden's bloody hoodie in his hand.

He was tossed into the trunk of a car, but he didn't even feel it. Sam couldn't feel anything but a painful emptiness in his chest that he had never felt before.


End file.
